Monkey Whizz is a type of synthetic urine you will hear about a lot, but what actually is it? In this quick Monkey Whizz review, I’m going to explain it in detail, because what you are thinking is Monkey Whizz probably actually isn’t!
On top of answering that cryptic point, I’ll tell you what’s in it, whether Monkey Whizz contains creatine, and how to use it.
Plus, we will talk in detail about problems and pitfalls of using Monkey Whizz, and also how it stacks up against the three top brands of synthetic urine on the market.
What Is Monkey Whizz?
Monkey Whizz is synthetic urine. But actually it isn’t, it’s a belt, and that’s why I was cryptic at the start of this Monkey Whizz review. The company who make Monkey Whizz are called Serious Monkey Bizzness, and they make four synthetic urine products:
- Monkey Urine
- Monkey Flask
- Monkey Whizz
- Monkey Dong
Monkey urine is literally a vial of powdered urine. You mix it with water and it’s the same urine is in the other three products. But you don’t get anything else, not even a heatpad.
Monkey Flask is the same urine but premixed. It’s contained in a clear plastic flask, that has a temperature strip on it as well. You also get a substantial heatpad to keep it warm. That makes Monkey Flask the real entry product in the range for people who want to pass a drug test.
Then we get to the product which actually is called Monkey Whizz because as I’m hoping you can now see it’s not actually the urine itself which is called Monkey Whizz, it’s this product, but the others get called it as well. You’ll get the same urine premixed, with an incognito belt that you operate through a little tap on it. You also get a pair of slim heatpads that slide inside the belt to keep urine warm.
At the top of the Serious Monkey Bizzness range comes the Monkey Dong. This is an incognito belt, but you don’t operate it with a tap, it has a prosthetic penis hanging off it. You squeeze it to release the valve and let urine come out, and you let go to stop the flow. It’s designed purely for supervised drug testing.
Monkey Whizz Review: Instructions
Instructions for using Monkey Whizz products are pretty much all the same, it doesn’t really matter which one you buy in terms of how you get it ready to submit. The company doesn’t recommend that you heat the urine up in a microwave. They say that just using the heatpads, and strapping the belts to you, is enough to keep the sample warm.
But that really doesn’t help when you are using the Monkey Flask. Yes, you can put that inside underwear to keep it close to your body, but it’s not distributed in a thin layer over your skin in the way that it is with the belts, so it won’t get as warm.
Which means you are relying solely on the heatpad with monkey Flask. Personally I would microwave it a little bit, to give the heatpad a head start, no matter which Monkey Whizz product you actually use.
In terms of the instructions for submission, if it’s an unsupervised drug test, then the Monkey Flask is enough to pass. You just pour it into the container and submit it.
For the more complex belt products, you will need to get used to using them in advance. So you will need to practice with the more advanced Monkey Whizz products to make sure you don’t get caught out, whether your test is supervised or unsupervised.
Does Monkey Whizz Work?
Does Monkey Whizz work? I think the answer that has to be yes. One of the main reasons that are the answer to the question of does Monkey Whizz contain creatine is yes, and a lot of other of the basic ingredients you need to pass a pre-employment drug test as well:
- Uric acid
- Has the correct pH
- Has the correct specific gravity
- Contains other chemicals found in urine
- Looks like human urine
There is some suspicion that Monkey Whizz could contain biocide, a preservative that some labs test for the presence of. However, I found it impossible to confirm that, and as people I know online have passed using this synthetic urine brand recently, then either that testing is intermittent, or Monkey Whizz synthetic urine does not contain biocide.
Where To Buy Monkey Flask & Belt
First of all, let’s talk about where not to buy the Monkey Whizz products. Please don’t take Monkey Whizz Amazon risks. Amazon is full of fake products, and a lot of the synthetic urine is ripped off or out of date.
In fact, I would advise not buying synthetic urine from any online marketplace. Buying monkey whizz on Amazon, eBay, any non-specialist listing sites is not recommended.
You can buy it from this site though, it’s a really trustworthy official reseller, and they offer Monkey Whizz products at a discounted price.
Alternatives To Monkey Whizz
For me, Monkey Whizz (I’m talking about all of their products) are probably fourth best on the list of the most reliable synthetic urine sellers.
The point is that the products are irrelevant, it’s the quality of the synthetic urine that’s important. Monkey Whizz synthetic urine is quite advanced in the formula, but it’s not the most complex formula on the market by a long stretch.
It’s comparable to the third best choice Quick Fix 6.2. The formulas are about the same, and both suffer from not looking and smelling particularly realistic. But for a basic pre-employment drug test, then yes, Monkey Whizz will work.
If you’re looking for something more advanced then you have to look at Sub Solution or it’s more complex sister product Quick Luck.
Both have far more chemicals in them than Monkey Whizz or Quick Fix, and they look, smell, and froth like the real thing. Quick Luck is premixed, Sub Solution is a powder, but both are head and shoulders above Monkey Whizz.
You’ll also get heat activator powder rather than a heatpad. That means that you don’t need a heatpad at all, and your chances of failing by submitting a cold sample are eradicated. You just pour it in, agitate it, and raise the temperature. You can do this even right outside the testing lab before you go in.
So look, the conclusion of this Monkey Whizz review is that it’s adequate for a basic pre-employment drug test, but it’s probably the fourth best choice on the market, and I would certainly think twice about using it if I had the money to buy Quick Luck ($100) or Sub Solution ($80).